If I had a Million Dollars

I've been bitten by the homesick bug in the past few weeks. I haven't just been aimlessly thinking about home here and there... no no no. I have been attacked by that vicious little tick inside the back of my head that floats down and morphs into a lump in my throat before landing and sitting heavily on my heart. To be more clear. I miss "home." Which to me is not actually a location, but a state of mind. It is a peaceful calm and serenity that occurs when I am around the people I love unconditionally and who love me back.

As many people who read my blog know (b/c they also read my mother's blog), my little brother K-man has moved to Indiana to start his college career. I have heard from him more in the past 2 weeks than I had in the past 3 months... so I think about him more, I worry about him more, and I miss him more. If I had a Million dollars, I would go to Indiana.

My best friend since high school, Ado, is living abroad in Venezuela. We are both extremely busy ladies and don't feel the need to talk to each other every day which makes the relationship low-maintenance and more of a comfort than a chore. However, even though we don't talk a lot, I pray for her and her colleagues every week at church and see her in every good deed I happen to see around this city. Yes, I know it's New York... but people really do have good inside them, even here. Anyway, I FINALLY was able to Skype with her 2 weeks ago and now I just miss the crap out of her. If I had a Million dollars, I would tour around Venezuela (and surrounding countries) with my lovely Ado.

Denver houses my other best friend (also affectionately known as my "wife") who I really DO talk to everyday and have begun playing online, cross-country, work-avoiding games of scrabble with. Now that we are talking more and more, it's harder to imagine being 28 states apart from her (and my numerous other college friends, of course). It's also quite convenient that I have a set of grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousin's out there. If I had a Million dollars, I would spend time with my "wife" and family in Denver.

Chicago, Portland, Seattle, LA, Arizona, Texas, Minnesota, Florida, Virginia, DC, London... All these places have part of my home and part of my heart. But none so much as San Francisco. My Million dollars go mostly to the brother whose life is rapidly changing and will continue to change as he brings new life into the world and raises a lucky little baby boy. My Million goes mostly to the mom and dad and little lady that are on my computer background at work and I think about when I go to the zoo, or the movies, or I see the families walking around and playing in Central Park.

If I had a Million dollars... I'd go home.


~B