Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Ohio, Denver, and all that lies in between...so, like, Missouri?

I'm not dead! The children did not, in fact, kill me and I can officially say that I have survived my first "tour." There is much to tell you, so I'll break it down by giving you lists of things I learned.

Ohio and the Tour
1. I love living out of a suitcase.
2. Children's tours = a group of 20 somethings set free with daily money and nothing to do.
3. Pregnant men live in the Wal-Mart in Ohio.
4. I hate the Wal-Mart in Ohio.
5. 23 years of watching my Mom (the greatest teacher in the known world) do her thing was not lost on me. I can quiet a group of 40 students in seconds-yay!
6. Zip-Zap-Zop is not a good game for 40 students - yikes.
7. Beer Pong is a funny game. To think I got through 4 years at CU ( at that time America's #1 party school) to play it my first time in the Hampton Inn in Newark, OH is...hilarious...and embarassing...and hilarious.
8. You Tube is the greatest. Sit down with a group of friends and let everyone show their favorite video. This was what we did every night and it was wonderful. Highlights: Muffins and a video called the "Puppet Master" in which Elijah Wood teaches children to do his favorite dance...stick with it, it grows on you.

Denver and the Wedding
1. I am officially old. Someone I met in the dorms is now married.
2. Coloradans walk slow. I found myself shouting, "Walk left, stand right" on those moving walkways at the airport.
3. Indoor Skydiving is hilarious. They make you float and spin around in the air while wearing a pretty pink outfit.
4. Sitting in a different room than the bride and groom at the reception is weird, especially when they are pretty much the only people you know.
5. I love Denver, but I don't actually miss it, just the people there.
6. The fact that my parents are moving to Hawaii does not make me sad. It was really, REALLY cold in Denver
it really, REALLY cold in NY...a girl's got to catch a break somewhere!
I'm the one on the far right...in the pink.

Airports in General
1. Walk left, stand right. Seriously.
2. Nobody cares about how awesome the black diamond skiing was at 12:55 am...we just want to get on the damn plane so stop trying to talk to us.
3. Never, ever, ever wear a pink jacket with mismatched pink socks and shoes while talking on your pink cell phone...everyone will hate you.
4. Never, ever, ever wear one of those crunchy synthetic jackets on the plane that makes all that noise every time you move...I will hate you.
5. Delay's suck.
6. Getting bumped up to first class due to your delay is awesome.
7. There is absolutely no way to be comfortable in an airplane seat, first class or not.
8. My life is awesome. After hearing the woman on the pink phone (you remember her from above) talk (with her one tooth) about familial conspiracies to kill her, I thought, "My life does not suck. Not even one bit. Even when it sucks, it's not that bad."


Unfortunately folks, I have to end this one on a bit of a sad note, but one we've all had to deal with.
I just want to take a moment to say goodbye to a little dude who was my best friend for nearly 20 years. Thanks for everything, buddy. After years of barbies, getting dressed up in baby clothes, hundreds of songs sung to you whether you wanted them or not, thousands of tears, millions of laughs, and a lifetime lived together, it's time to say goodbye. I love you and I'll miss you. Bye-bye, Mr. Norman.
-J

5 comments:

Beastarzmom said...

I can be bought. And I'm cheap.
Somehow Jenny in pink is not quite what I expect, though I did expect that you'd nail the whole kid thing. Congrats! Next time will be all "no sweat" and stuff.
And sorry to hear about Mr. Norman. I've got a couple of beagles I'll send you.
Look at my word verification -
ppybu! puppy be you. or us. whatever.

Beastarzmom said...

btw - where'd your header go?

Beastarzmom said...

Last entry February 20, it is now March. hmmmm.

olddominionoldies said...

Charlie says hi and he wants to come and give you kisses! His bus ticket is in hand and ready to please!!

Wow- you guys are pretty busy! I love the one toothed pink cell phone lady--you gotta love those seat mates! My favorite is the 400pound guy that sits in your seat too! love ya jno

This is Linda - you are such a good writer! I finally remembered the name of your blog. wanted to thank you for coming to Jno's promo - it was soooo good to see you. So sorry about Mr. Norman! Love ya lots, Lin

jmama said...

This was SO funny. I LOVE catching up! See you soon....you always have Bellie and Todley..... LOVE YOU!