Thursday, February 26, 2009

To Blah, Or Not To Blah

That is ALWAYS the question. As an auditioning performer there are very few times that a Casting Director will give you a straight up critique of your audition. Usually, you go in, do your thing, and they either call you back or they don't. But RARELY will they tell you why they make their decisions, leaving you in a constant state of insecurity, confusion, and curiosity.

Last October, I auditioned for a cruise line and was placed on the "Hire" list (**uproarous applause**) thinking that I would get a call in just a couple weeks to go on an 8-month contract to the Carribean, the Romance Cities in Europe, Venezuela to visit my best friend. Imagine my surprise when 3 months later I was searching through the audition notices and saw a new listing for the company that hired me and did not use me. So, I did what any normal person would do. I went to the audition to show my face and say, "hi! remember me?? What the EFF?!"

I had visions of sweeping them away with my CRAZY talent and having them call me in and say "what have we been doing?? You need to sign this contract and head to LA for rehearsals tomorrow!!" So, of course, when I went in and sang the song they asked for, they said a prompt "thank you. that's all" and my look of complete shock and the "Really?!" that came out of my mouth was unmistakable.

After getting dressed I walked back to the room to find the moniter looking frantically for me. They invited me back into the room and apologized for dismissing me. They said my reaction made them take a second look at my application (apparently people usually just walk away like human beings). And then something amazing happened. They critiqued my audition.....

The guy said they liked my personality, but when I opened my mouth to sing it was all of a sudden kind of "Blah." (very descriptive)

AHHHHH! Panic ensues! This is every performers dream and nightmare. There's no questioning why they didn't want to see me again. But the knowledge that my auditions turn "blah" the minute I start to sing?? Not good.

They had me come back for the dance call and they told me they wouldn't remove me from the hire list but this is a horrifying realization. What have I lost in the past 3 months? I need to find the "it" factor again. And FAST!

HELP! WHERE IS THE "IT" FACTOR! HOW CAN I WOW THEM AGAIN?!

~B

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Have you caught the Obesity Virus?

This is a scary concept... Obesity can be spread as easily as the common cold.



Fact or Fiction?? Either way I'm going to try this "Partial Starvation" thing out. Sounds just about as good as the balemia diet I tried last month.

~B

Friday, January 9, 2009

'Bout Time!

Wow.... Months go by so quickly around here...

A quick recap- I'll be VERY brief. All details spared (you're welcome)

November:
After many weeks and weeks of waiting. I FINALLY became an AUNTIE!!!!!! Look at this sweet little face. It doesn't get any better.


The same week I was a guest at the Jim Hensen puppet workshop where I had the honor of meeting the one... the only.... GROVER! It was glorious.


December:
I was typed out of Fiddler AGAIN!! Who knew?? I bought hair extensions and sewed clips in the dang things and everything. He looked at me, thought about it, thought about it some more, and then TYPED ME OUT. grrrrrrrrr...... careful Mr. Casting Director... This Hodel bites.

Went to CA to spend a nice quiet Christmas with the family and see my three closest friends from high school. Speak about time going quickly... I MISS YOU ALREADY!


January:
I TURNED A WHOLE QUARTER OLD!!! Thank you Mumz for the terrific tribute. I was supposed to work the night I turned the big 2-5 so I didn't plan any festivities. Then all the sudden my night was free and my roommate made sure it wasn't wasted. We went to a movie (Bedtime Stories) and got drinks and dessert at a quiet local bar. There was a candle in my key lime pie and everything!



Sorry this recap was so dry. The next post will be much more exciting.


And there WILL be a next post.

~B

Thursday, November 6, 2008

However...

THIS IS THE AGE OF HOPE!!!! and I still believe in justice and the good in people. There will be change in America, We can individually make a difference, This ban will not last forever, There will be peace someday.



THANK YOU OBAMA & BIDEN! YES WE CAN!

~B

Sometimes I get pissed off.....

Right now I have a big reason

What the eff America?!

Read this and stop being such pricks.

~B
This has been a public service announcement

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Dear God, I'd like to apply for an extension?

Nobody told me that in "grown up" world time goes shooting by.
Now I get it.
All those times people said, "They grow up so fast" or, "I remember it like it was yesterday."
I get it. Well, I get in an I don't have a kid kind of way.
Suddenly it seems like there is no time, but I can't seem to point out where it went or what I'm doing that's taking up so much of it so I figured I'd lay out the arithmetic of a typical day for you:
6:15 Wake up, try to stumble my way into pants, shirt, shoes and get out the door with my lunchbox in tow.
6:30 Fall into a bus seat and resume sleeping in fetal position with my iPod on ( the iPod makes them think I'm listening to music...that's right, I love this music so much that I'm closing my eyes, lips parted and drooling - I REALLY love this band)
6:55 Get on the subway, resume position
7am Get to the gym and pretend that I like working out for the next hour. Do that thing where I squat 300 times and look like I'm peeing while feeling like I am about to die from a heart attack? I LOVE that thing!
9am Real work, un-interupted phone answering, email returning, expense doing goodness for the next 4 hours until...
1 Lunch! This is the part of the day where for one hour only I pretend I have a different life. One where I can walk leisurely through parks or curse the 20 yards in the rain that stand between me and the frozen yogurt man.
2pm Back to the grind. More coffee, more coffee, more coffee.
6 pm Start the trek home, I haven't done anything "taxing" yet I am exhausted and barely making it from work to the bus.
7pm HOME! I feel like I won a prize and also like my bed has some kind of Jenny magnet that makes me collapse forward, coat and bags still on me. There is just something so wonderful about doing a face plant into your bed.
7:15 (Yes, I stayed in the face plant for 15 minutes - don't judge me) I finally turn over, not ready to move yet and start thinking about dinner. I consider the amount of cash I have, how much I want Chinese food, how much I want pizza, how much I don't want to go outside, how much I don't want to cook and then finally I bite the bullet and just head to the kitchen where I'm hoping that magic will happen and chinese food and pizza will appear in the fridge.
8pm After lots of waxing and waning I go with pasta which is finally ready and I sit on my bed, turn on the boob tube, and eat.
It is now 8:30 pm and, I don't know if you have been following but, I have spend a grand total of 14 hours and 15 minutes of my life surviving, just surviving.

They say that time flies and it does. I'm starting to realize that the way you get through it, the way you love it, and the only way it makes sense is to put yourself in the pilot seat.
That said, Grad school better watch it, because I am about to kick it's ass.
My trajectory is focused and I am ready.
10 schools are on the list which means 10 auditions, 10 applications, and about 1 million things to do - so, God, do you think I could have an extension? I just need a little more time...


-j

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Unexpected Return of the Nickname

I've been hiding this secret inside of me for so long...

In college I was given a nickname that was, let's face it, completely accurate. I have made absolutely no mention of the nickname I received in my past life.

Last weekend IT hooked up new phones for the office and spilled the beans to all my colleagues. I don't know where or how they found out, but it seems like I have no choice but to shout it out to the world.



Perhaps now my true persona will finally flourish. I'm about to rock your world- Einstein style.


Create your own FACEinHOLE

~Brains