Broadway Bloopers- Livin' the Dream

To Blah, Or Not To Blah

2009-02-26T10:27:00.000-08:00

That is ALWAYS the question. As an auditioning performer there are very few times that a Casting Director will give you a straight up critique of your audition. Usually, you go in, do your thing, and they either call you back or they don't. But RARELY will they tell you why they make their decisions, leaving you in a constant state of insecurity, confusion, and curiosity.

Last October, I auditioned for a cruise line and was placed on the "Hire" list (**uproarous applause**) thinking that I would get a call in just a couple weeks to go on an 8-month contract to the Carribean, the Romance Cities in Europe, Venezuela to visit my best friend. Imagine my surprise when 3 months later I was searching through the audition notices and saw a new listing for the company that hired me and did not use me. So, I did what any normal person would do. I went to the audition to show my face and say, "hi! remember me?? What the EFF?!"

I had visions of sweeping them away with my CRAZY talent and having them call me in and say "what have we been doing?? You need to sign this contract and head to LA for rehearsals tomorrow!!" So, of course, when I went in and sang the song they asked for, they said a prompt "thank you. that's all" and my look of complete shock and the "Really?!" that came out of my mouth was unmistakable.

After getting dressed I walked back to the room to find the moniter looking frantically for me. They invited me back into the room and apologized for dismissing me. They said my reaction made them take a second look at my application (apparently people usually just walk away like human beings). And then something amazing happened. They critiqued my audition.....

The guy said they liked my personality, but when I opened my mouth to sing it was all of a sudden kind of "Blah." (very descriptive)

AHHHHH! Panic ensues! This is every performers dream and nightmare. There's no questioning why they didn't want to see me again. But the knowledge that my auditions turn "blah" the minute I start to sing?? Not good.

They had me come back for the dance call and they told me they wouldn't remove me from the hire list but this is a horrifying realization. What have I lost in the past 3 months? I need to find the "it" factor again. And FAST!

HELP! WHERE IS THE "IT" FACTOR! HOW CAN I WOW THEM AGAIN?!

~B

Have you caught the Obesity Virus?

2009-01-27T12:18:00.000-08:00

This is a scary concept... Obesity can be spread as easily as the common cold.

Fact or Fiction?? Either way I'm going to try this "Partial Starvation" thing out. Sounds just about as good as the balemia diet I tried last month.

~B

'Bout Time!

2009-01-09T16:12:00.000-08:00

Wow.... Months go by so quickly around here...

A quick recap- I'll be VERY brief. All details spared (you're welcome)

November:
After many weeks and weeks of waiting. I FINALLY became an AUNTIE!!!!!! Look at this sweet little face. It doesn't get any better.

The same week I was a guest at the Jim Hensen puppet workshop where I had the honor of meeting the one... the only.... GROVER! It was glorious.

December:
I was typed out of Fiddler AGAIN!! Who knew?? I bought hair extensions and sewed clips in the dang things and everything. He looked at me, thought about it, thought about it some more, and then TYPED ME OUT. grrrrrrrrr...... careful Mr. Casting Director... This Hodel bites.

Went to CA to spend a nice quiet Christmas with the family and see my three closest friends from high school. Speak about time going quickly... I MISS YOU ALREADY!

January:
I TURNED A WHOLE QUARTER OLD!!! Thank you Mumz for the terrific tribute. I was supposed to work the night I turned the big 2-5 so I didn't plan any festivities. Then all the sudden my night was free and my roommate made sure it wasn't wasted. We went to a movie (Bedtime Stories) and got drinks and dessert at a quiet local bar. There was a candle in my key lime pie and everything!

Sorry this recap was so dry. The next post will be much more exciting.

And there WILL be a next post.

~B

However...

2008-11-06T14:44:00.000-08:00

THIS IS THE AGE OF HOPE!!!! and I still believe in justice and the good in people. There will be change in America, We can individually make a difference, This ban will not last forever, There will be peace someday.

THANK YOU OBAMA & BIDEN! YES WE CAN!

~B

Sometimes I get pissed off.....

2008-11-06T14:35:00.000-08:00

Right now I have a big reason

What the eff America?!

Read this and stop being such pricks.

~B
This has been a public service announcement

Dear God, I'd like to apply for an extension?

2008-10-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

Nobody told me that in "grown up" world time goes shooting by.
Now I get it.
All those times people said, "They grow up so fast" or, "I remember it like it was yesterday."
I get it. Well, I get in an I don't have a kid kind of way.
Suddenly it seems like there is no time, but I can't seem to point out where it went or what I'm doing that's taking up so much of it so I figured I'd lay out the arithmetic of a typical day for you:
6:15 Wake up, try to stumble my way into pants, shirt, shoes and get out the door with my lunchbox in tow.
6:30 Fall into a bus seat and resume sleeping in fetal position with my iPod on ( the iPod makes them think I'm listening to music...that's right, I love this music so much that I'm closing my eyes, lips parted and drooling - I REALLY love this band)
6:55 Get on the subway, resume position
7am Get to the gym and pretend that I like working out for the next hour. Do that thing where I squat 300 times and look like I'm peeing while feeling like I am about to die from a heart attack? I LOVE that thing!
9am Real work, un-interupted phone answering, email returning, expense doing goodness for the next 4 hours until...
1 Lunch! This is the part of the day where for one hour only I pretend I have a different life. One where I can walk leisurely through parks or curse the 20 yards in the rain that stand between me and the frozen yogurt man.
2pm Back to the grind. More coffee, more coffee, more coffee.
6 pm Start the trek home, I haven't done anything "taxing" yet I am exhausted and barely making it from work to the bus.
7pm HOME! I feel like I won a prize and also like my bed has some kind of Jenny magnet that makes me collapse forward, coat and bags still on me. There is just something so wonderful about doing a face plant into your bed.
7:15 (Yes, I stayed in the face plant for 15 minutes - don't judge me) I finally turn over, not ready to move yet and start thinking about dinner. I consider the amount of cash I have, how much I want Chinese food, how much I want pizza, how much I don't want to go outside, how much I don't want to cook and then finally I bite the bullet and just head to the kitchen where I'm hoping that magic will happen and chinese food and pizza will appear in the fridge.
8pm After lots of waxing and waning I go with pasta which is finally ready and I sit on my bed, turn on the boob tube, and eat.
It is now 8:30 pm and, I don't know if you have been following but, I have spend a grand total of 14 hours and 15 minutes of my life surviving, just surviving.

They say that time flies and it does. I'm starting to realize that the way you get through it, the way you love it, and the only way it makes sense is to put yourself in the pilot seat.
That said, Grad school better watch it, because I am about to kick it's ass.
My trajectory is focused and I am ready.
10 schools are on the list which means 10 auditions, 10 applications, and about 1 million things to do - so, God, do you think I could have an extension? I just need a little more time...

-j

The Unexpected Return of the Nickname

2008-10-27T08:43:00.001-07:00

I've been hiding this secret inside of me for so long...

In college I was given a nickname that was, let's face it, completely accurate. I have made absolutely no mention of the nickname I received in my past life.

Last weekend IT hooked up new phones for the office and spilled the beans to all my colleagues. I don't know where or how they found out, but it seems like I have no choice but to shout it out to the world.

Perhaps now my true persona will finally flourish. I'm about to rock your world- Einstein style.

Create your own FACEinHOLE

~Brains

In the Spirit

2008-10-24T13:00:00.001-07:00

This is how we do it in Jersey...

We're creepy like that.

~B

Words of Wisdom

2008-10-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Now is the time to donate. Let your support be known.">

CALIFORNIA!! Absolutely Vote NO on Prop 8...

I know I'm not big on expressing my political belief, but this is important, so I'm speaking out... It's very disappointing that Proposition 8 is even in existance especially in a Liberal State like CA. This sort of discrimination is unacceptable and exactly what is tearing America apart today. Why do people continue to try to see the world in Black and White when there is SO MUCH COLOR all around us? They are missing a very important piece of life. True diversity. Diversity in religion is recognized. Diversity in ethnicity is still a stuggle for minorities. Diversity in lifestyle is still struggling to identify itself as an option. WHY can't we embrace our differences and the differences of others? WHY can't we stop exploiting people's lifestyles and using the media to incriminate and scandalize fellow citizens? WHY is the act of allowing two people who love each other to make a vow even a question in our society? This is the time to unite. This is the time to look at the world in technicolor.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to vote on this proposition because I just registered in NJ. Now I'm disappointed that I didn't register absentee. Please help spread the word and express your belief to any friends, family, or stranger who is voting on the CA Ballot. Be Smart. Think before you give your rights away.

~B
Proud supporter of the Obama/Biden Ticket. Yes, We Can.

NEW WEBSITE!!!

2008-10-14T15:42:00.000-07:00

Hellooooooo!!!

The time has come. I have created my first professional website. Please let me know what you think! Comments and Criticisms are ABSOLUTELY encouraged!!

www.BriannGagnon.com

Thanks! I look forward to hearing from each and every one of you!

Love and Many Happy Thoughts,
Briann

Briann says I have to

2008-09-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ahoy.
That was left over from Briann's blog.
She says that I should write something here and so I shall...
Very soon.
Thank you and goodnight!

A Pirate's Life for Me

2008-09-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, September 19th, was International Talk Like a Pirate Day. If you don't know about this holiday..... you should.

In an effort to bring fun into the office I created the TLAPD scavenger hunt. I hid 5 pirate items around the office (a parrot, a sword, a skull, a treasure map, and a hook). My pirate colleagues were supposed to find the items- 1 item per pirate- and hold onto them for the rest of the day. Looting and trickery was encouraged to keep the items switching hands throughout the day. At COB the Manager drew the name of the winning item out of a captain's hat and the winner got the treasure of Bootstrap Phil which consisted of some Mardi Gras beads, chocolate coins and a $50 American Express Gift Certificate.

In addition to this looting madness, everyone in the office had pirate names which were typed out and written on nametags (mine was Encephalitic Helga Scarr) and they were to salute each other with a hearty "YARR!" or "Yo-ho-ho!" or other various pirate terms whenever they spoke.

I work in an IT office, so obviously I didn't think my colleagues would go all out for this festive holiday.......

....

Guess I underestimated them.... YARRRRR!!!!

~B

This Ain't Easy... Street

2008-09-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

Round 1: Last Monday I auditioned for the National Tour of the musical Annie. I arrived at 7:30am and was number 80 or so out of approx. 250 women (that's right, it was so crowded that the men were auditioning a different day). Recently I've decided to stop trying to fit the conservative love interest roles, but rather to go for the whacky, out there, nutjob character roles... you know, the fun ones. So, I auditioned for Ms. Hannigan with J's encouragement. She said that I have that whole Carol Burnett thing going for me (awesome).

We were asked to sing 16 bars of our best song. My audition song: "How Lucky You Are" from Seussical. I LOVE this song because I get to be sexy, irritated, and goofy. The "egg" discussed in the song can represent anyone or anything and I can be as selfish, mean, or whiney as I want. This particular audition, of course, the egg represented "little girls." The casting director liked me and asked me to do the same song as Jessica Rabbit.... hmmmmmm. okay, maybe he sees me as Lilly (Rooster's girlfriend). I did what he asked and LO AND BEHOLD!! He asked me to come back. YAY! but...... what role am I called back for?

Round 2: 100 people (men and women) have made it through to this round. The Director is here this time. I wore the same outfit as the original audition, did my hair the same way, and had a very similar morning routine sort of for good luck and sort of because the casting team might recognize me better. We were asked to sing the same 16 bars that got us the callback in the first place. I wasn't sure which role to mold my song to fit... do I sing it like Jessica Rabbit? or did he just ask me to do that to see if I could think on my feet?? So, I sang it like Hannigan sticking to the "Carol Burnett" thought. The director looks at me quizzically before saying "good, but do you have a headvoice?" Oh, so maybe he's considering me for Grace! So I sing my Soprano-eist song and he asks me to come back for the dance call. And tells me he likes my haircut (uh oh, maybe time for new headshots... UGH!). YAY! but...... what role am I called back for?

Round 3: I'm back to dance with approx 50 people who have been invited back. FYI~ 8:30 is a terribly early time to be stuffed in a leotard and stretching with 30 other girls. We are "happily" stretching away when the Casting Director walked in and told us "if it were his audition.... he would wear the same clothes as the first audition/callback."

Shit.

Luckily I had just decided that morning that I should keep a dress at work just in case I feel the need to run to an audition last minute. I was going to bring the shoes the next work day, but I could fudge through that. The entire room went crazy and almost every woman was changed and applying more make-up in 5 minutes flat. The combination is easy enough. and very fun. We danced to "Easy Street" and it was more about showing personality than mastering the moves. After that was over they split us into 3 groups and had us sing our BEST 8 bars.... which we were informed very late that it should be from the same audition song we had been using. After that..... another round of cutting.

Round 4: I MADE IT THROUGH! YAY! but...... what role am I called back for?
Finally it's time for the part I've been waiting for- scene work. I'm paired up with 2 really fun and easy-going actors and we prepare a Hannigan, Rooster, Lilly scene. I was given the role of *trumpet call* LILLY St. Regis (named after the hotel). We had a blast and the scene was different and fun every time we went through it. We did a group cheer before and after we did the scene for the table. And then..... we waited. and waited. and waited.

Around 4pm (remember: we'd been there since 9am). They called out names and told us that it didn't mean anything that they were sending us home, they just saw everything they need from us, we're all fabulous, he's in love with every one of us, etc. (which is incredibly nice of the monitor to say) they let about 15-20 of us leave. Including yours truly- who went straight to work.

It was a WONDERFUL experience to be called back. It could be days or months before they call me- or they may not call at all. Regardless of what happens with this tour I am more sure than ever that this is where I belong and what I am supposed to be doing. This Tuesday is the audition for the Nat'l Tour of the Drowsy Chaperone (produced by the same company as Annie) and there are many more auditions to look forward to in the coming weeks. So as our dear friend little orphan Annie instructs, I will continue in this bustling metropolis to "pick up my chin, and grin, and say- Oh, the sun'll come out tomorrow... it's only a day away"

~B

The need for speed....

2008-09-11T13:10:00.001-07:00

Do you ever have those days?? You know. The "cartoony" days.

Well, today I feel like Roadrunner. I'm running around the city with imaginary earplugs in my ears going from one place to another with a confident smile on my face. My adrenaline is sky high. I'm speedwalking around, through, and over people. Flying off of the cliff, straight over clouds and birds, to another piece of solid ground 25 feet away. Outrunning dynamite explosions, cayotes on rockets, and rolling boulders. Today my consistant thought is "eat my dust."

"Meep meep"

Maybe I should lay off the coffee.....

~B

If I had a Million Dollars

2008-09-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

I've been bitten by the homesick bug in the past few weeks. I haven't just been aimlessly thinking about home here and there... no no no. I have been attacked by that vicious little tick inside the back of my head that floats down and morphs into a lump in my throat before landing and sitting heavily on my heart. To be more clear. I miss "home." Which to me is not actually a location, but a state of mind. It is a peaceful calm and serenity that occurs when I am around the people I love unconditionally and who love me back.

As many people who read my blog know (b/c they also read my mother's blog), my little brother K-man has moved to Indiana to start his college career. I have heard from him more in the past 2 weeks than I had in the past 3 months... so I think about him more, I worry about him more, and I miss him more. If I had a Million dollars, I would go to Indiana.

My best friend since high school, Ado, is living abroad in Venezuela. We are both extremely busy ladies and don't feel the need to talk to each other every day which makes the relationship low-maintenance and more of a comfort than a chore. However, even though we don't talk a lot, I pray for her and her colleagues every week at church and see her in every good deed I happen to see around this city. Yes, I know it's New York... but people really do have good inside them, even here. Anyway, I FINALLY was able to Skype with her 2 weeks ago and now I just miss the crap out of her. If I had a Million dollars, I would tour around Venezuela (and surrounding countries) with my lovely Ado.

Denver houses my other best friend (also affectionately known as my "wife") who I really DO talk to everyday and have begun playing online, cross-country, work-avoiding games of scrabble with. Now that we are talking more and more, it's harder to imagine being 28 states apart from her (and my numerous other college friends, of course). It's also quite convenient that I have a set of grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousin's out there. If I had a Million dollars, I would spend time with my "wife" and family in Denver.

Chicago, Portland, Seattle, LA, Arizona, Texas, Minnesota, Florida, Virginia, DC, London... All these places have part of my home and part of my heart. But none so much as San Francisco. My Million dollars go mostly to the brother whose life is rapidly changing and will continue to change as he brings new life into the world and raises a lucky little baby boy. My Million goes mostly to the mom and dad and little lady that are on my computer background at work and I think about when I go to the zoo, or the movies, or I see the families walking around and playing in Central Park.

If I had a Million dollars... I'd go home.

~B

Re-focusing

2008-08-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gents, I've made the decision and I'm taking the plunge...
I've decided to go to grad school.
That's right, I'm ready to shout it from the hills (blogs are like hills, right?), "I want to be an actor so seriously that I'm willing to dive into hundreds (gag) of thousands (sob) of dollars in debt to do it!"
Well, maybe not that dramatic, but I've decided and I'm thrilled.
Here's how it happened:
New York, for all of it's hustle, bustle, and booming population can actually be a very solitary place. For me, it began to serve as a mirror, I saw all of the things that I did and did not want to be reflected in the millions of people passing me by every day. Everyone here is, for better or worse, focused solely on themselves making it easy to spot the core of their being even just walking past. In seeing other people so focused I began to see exactly what I want and what I don't. I want to be an actor. Not part time, not just until I'm 30, and not as a filler until I figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life. This IS what I'm supposed to do with my life.
Once I figured that out, definitively, I started sorting through what the best route is to the kind of career that I'm looking for, and the answer was clear: Grad school.
Well, good thing that was so easy because the rest of the journey will be incredibly turbulent. Now I have the lovely task of figuring out where I want to go, applying, waiting to see if I get an audition, auditioning, waiting to see if I get a call back, going for a weekend of call backs, waiting to see if I get in, and then figuring out how to pay for the whole thing.
No biggie, right?

...No need to stress...right???

Well, you'll witness it all right here on this blog. I'm on the road to graduate school, so hop in the car!

( I know that last line was cheesy, but come on, I needed a tag line!)

- J

De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da....

2008-08-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, these fellas still rock....

Last night I went to see The Police at Nikon Stadium on Jones Beach Long Island with some people from my work. Our company was given 8 tickets and only 6 people from my office claimed the tickets. Um, Excuse me????? If you're given FREE tickets to see AMAZING musicians- TAKE THEM!

So one of the ladies that was already going claimed the extra tickets before I could get one for J. Sorry BroadwayBlooper fans. Only one went on this wild ride.

Sting (vocals, bass guitar): SO sexy..... needed to shave (there was a little too much grey showing through in his beard), but his tight pants and washboard stomach (which he showed us during the final encore) made up for any sign of age on his face. He had a stong voice and great energy throughout the entire concert. My favorite part of his performance was when a neon green, mushy, Koosh ball type toy was thrown onstage and he was so intrigued by it he said "I think I'm in love" bit it and proceeded to hold the toy as he went offstage after the set. Let me remind you that this man owns about 10 houses all over the world.... and he falls in love with a mushy ball toy that is probably made for 5 year olds.... Hi-larious!

Andy Summers (lead guitar, vocals): Although he didn't age quite as nicely as the other two, Andy could still break out those guitar solos without breaking a sweat. While Sting was playing up the audience, he was rocking out on that guitar. Very impressive.

Stewart Copeland (drums, percussion, vocals): He made some funny faces when the camera hit him, but thats because he was WAILING on the drums. This guy reminded me SO much of my friend Brendan that it was scary. A pretty skinny guy sporting the trademark Brendan bandana around the forehead with extreme energy and the stage presence of one of the Beatles. He was so captivating to watch that the audience actually broke out into riotous applause every time he transitioned from random percussion intruments (including a large gong and hanging chimes) to he drumset. This transition occurred several times in the middle of songs. He was genius.

I had a great time listening to all the famous hits of the band (my favorite of the night was "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"). And I feel very lucky to be invited to all these AMAZING concerts! Keep 'em coming!

Oh, and did I mention that the Opener was Elvis Costello??? Freakin' Sweet.

Say WHAT?!?!

2008-07-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

My name has gone from "that can't be your real name" to "I heard that's a popular name now"....

Okay, maybe it hasn't reached that point yet. We're still not sure if it will make the "what the hell were they thinking" list. Perhaps it will be similar in quirkiness to the celebrity baby names "Apple" "Moses" or "Pilot Inspector." But regardless of the category my name lands in, thank you, Jamie Lynn for raising awareness for those of us with socially awkward names.

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2008/07/maddie-briann-a.html

Crazy......

~B

Shea is Movin' Out!

2008-07-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

What do Tony Bennett, Garth Brooks, Steven Tyler, Roger Daltry, Paul McCartney have in common???

They were all guest artists at the Billy Joel concert in Shea Stadium last night.
This artical forgot a big star, but it's pretty well written anyway.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/19/nyregion/19joel.html

A couple days ago my co-worker, Jeff, casually mentioned in an e-mail that he was going to the Billy Joel concert to which I jokingly replied "wow! You happen to have any extra tickets??" He said he might have two! I didn't want to get my hopes up, after all this concert was SOLD OUT in February, it was the last concert to be performed at Shea Stadium, and WHO WOULD TURN DOWN BILLY JOEL TICKETS?!?! But yesterday morning he told me the tickets were miraculously still available. So, of course, one of your beloved Broadway Bloopers spent the night with her good friend Billy (B-ster to the close friends).

Regardless of the fact that the stadium ran out of alcohol half-way through the concert- and they apparently bought over 450,000 cases of beer- the entire concert was fused with energy from an eclectic crowd of stoners, parents, bikers, youngsters, and hipsters. One of the biggest highlights of the night for me was looking around at everyone attempting (and mostly failing) to get out all the words to "We didn't start the fire" and accidently catching a show in the back of the stands. Subsequently the huge group in front of us took out binoculars and focused on the XXX show for about 20 minutes, giving my group the play by play. And there's always that wasted chick that you think is hysterical. Ours was standing next to us later in the night and when her beloved Garth Brooks came onstage she told us that if we were closer to the stage she would flash him. When Paul McCartney entered the stage for the final encore, she decided it was time to flash.... from the upper deck.

In the end, it didn't matter that we were too far back for the sound systems to work correctly and the lights to impact us. It was great to be there for a night of star-studded performances and emotional farewells. A night when the great Billy Joel decided to turn the stage over to the legendary Paul McCartney for the last song on the Shea Stadium stage.... "Let it Be"

What a night. What a performer.

June: a recap

2008-07-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, friends.... I've been waiting for pictures from Jenny for this blog, but I don't think that will happen in the near future. So let's chat.

We've been up to all sorts of mischief in the past month and a half. Beginning, of course, with amazing trips home to watch our siblings graduate High School. She drove her car down to Virginia and hung out with Heather to celebrate her accomplishment.

[Insert picture here...]

While I took the long plane ride to San Fran to watch Kyle recieve his diploma (I'm SO PROUD of my lil bro!!!) and to catch up with the family whom I love and miss every day.

The following week, my company hosted a cruise around the Hudson bay that your two lovely New Yorksey ladies were both invited to attend. The weather was fair and the views were gorgeous. We passed Lady Liberty, man made waterfall installations, and watched the Sunset onboard our "Great Gatsby" style yacht.

The next weekend we both flew to the state we know and love so well, to watch two of our good friends from college celebrate the next phase of their lives. The trip started off incredibly well. Our rental car was upgraded to a lovely spacious SUV. Kelsey and her bf were able to hang out with us the evening we flew in and we were allowed to use Kelsey's apartment as our home base (WE LOVE YOU KELS!). Just when we were ready for the bad luck storm to hit us, things just got better...

This trip was a whirlwind of nostalgia. CU Buffaloes that we hadn't seen for up to about 4 years were in attendance at the groom's gorgeous lake-side house in Loveland, CO. The music was live and perfectly scheduled (there was a Stage Manager for the wedding- to keep it on track, of course), the food was real Mexican cooking, the alcohol was free-flowing, the fireworks display and light show were phenominal, the fire pit was buzzing with conversation, and the dance floor was rocking all night long. Here are a smattering of pictures from the event (including the gorgeous couple who caught the bouquet and the garter belt).

On our last day we saw Company which Kelsey was performing at the Lakeshore Theater. She was beautiful and natural up on stage and I felt so lucky to be able to see her perform again. The perfect end to the perfect weekend.

After the show when we went to check in for our flight that evening things finally started to get Rocky (ha! "Rocky" get it?) when our flight home was cancelled and the airlines were very unconcerned that they couldn't get us home until the following Wednesday. After much yelling at customer service representatives, Jenny was able to get us both aboard the red-eye flight for the following night and we secured our rental car for an extra day without penalty fees or higher rates.

What were we to do with this day off from the Universe??? Sit around Kelsey's apartment sulking and fighting with the TV? Shopping in the Great Denver Mall? Contacting long lost friends for a short coffee visit? Or perhaps... just perhaps.... the Universe wanted us to go to Eliches Gardens Theme Park and scream our heads off on countless roller coasters. As if our choice of "day off activities" couldn't be more perfect, we discovered that Eliches was celebrating "Gay Day"- the day after pride weekend where Eliches is traditionally taken over by the gay Denver community. Needless to say, we had a BLAST!

[Insert SUPER CUTE Theme Park Pictures from JENNY'S CAMERA here...]

After our travels across the country and back we decided it was time to stay in our home for a while. Our next trip would be to Long Island for some wining and dining fun with a group of friends on the Fourth of July. But that is a story for another time...

Until we meet again.

The American Evolution

2008-07-01T06:52:00.000-07:00

Before I catch you up on our many adventures of the past month (combined we visited Virginia, California, and Colorado). I want to share a few pictures that stopped me dead in my tracks this morning.

If you can't change 'em..... Mold to fit 'em.
God Bless Unhealthy Americans.

~B

Here's to fans...

2008-06-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

I think I've died...and I didn't go where I expected to.

It is hot as Hades in the Dunne-Gagnon household and we have officially gone crazy.

It started this morning. Unbearable heat. Choking heat. I would rather jump from a fifty foot building - just for the breeze- than stay here and feel this sweat-in-every-spot-makes-me-want-to-die heat.

But wait (lightbulb!) we are members of the few, the proud, the central air community!
We shut all of the windows, run to the thermostat (which was clocking in at a staunch 93 degrees) and flip it over to AC. Good glory here we come!

We wait. The fan clicks on. There is a strong whir of air from the vents and ...

IT'S HOT.

Hot air is funneling into our already hot apartment.

Maybe it needs a few minutes, so we wait.
15 minutes go by and I've started to sweat.
30 minutes go by and Briann and I are literally dripping.
45 minutes go by and we're getting faint.

Briann has a glorious idea and in a flash we're out the door and in the car - AC is heaven.
We proceed to spend the day gallivanting around the air condition wonders of Jersey City and Hoboken. Mostly we spend our time getting lost, but we don't care as long as it's cool.

Armed with two new fans and a number of other completely unnecessary accouterments from Target, we head back.
We hope against hope that a miracle has occur ed and our AC (which isn't slated to be fixed until tomorrow morning) has magically fixed itself, or at least that our apartment is a bearable temperature as we reach the second floor landing, 12 stairs waiting in front of us to spell our fate.
Stairs one through 7 seem great, it is very possible that tonight will be fine, warm but not overwhelming.
Then we reach the 8th step.
Oh dear, sweet Jesus.
Not only is it hot, it's humid. The air doesn't move and our current (and highest yet) temp is 97 degrees.
I am currently sitting catatonic on my bed drinking white wine (for the chill, of course - not to medicate my sad, sad, and did I mention HOT existence) with a wet towel wrapped around my head and a fan blowing HOT HUMID DEATH AIR directly on my barely clothed body. Briann and I have hit the wall, kids.
We are really hoping that we make it through the night and praying for a light fall of snow.
In the meantime we deliriously took these pictures, enjoy and...call us tomorrow, here's hoping we haven't melted.

Time to go take an ice bath.

- J

Birthday Extravaganza

2008-05-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

I just started working for my friend, E, who created a company called SittersStudio- a babysitting company for families in NY which has expanded to include Chicago and will soon include San Francisco as well. I will repeat again, this is a babysitting company. Understood? Awesome.

So it wasn't out of the ordinary when E called me the other day and asked if I would be a sitter for a 10 yr. old girl's karaoke birthday party. She said I would be in charge of the karaoke machine and making sure the girls would be having a good time. There would be an arts and crafts section that another sitter would manage and there were only going to be 10 girls.

I walk up to this amazing apartment complex and say hello to the concierge who is going to be showing me around. Then the craziness begins. I find out that we might be kicked out of the party room, there will not be an arts and crafts section OR another sitter, they need me to help transport the balloons, there are going to be twice as many adults as kids at this party, I was going to have to harrass people to get them to dance and have fun, oh yeah, and the mom is a nutjob. Turns out, she wanted a DJ, not a babysitter, because I ended up messing with the machine all night, getting yelled at by her for not switching cables fast enough for her to sing "Hopelessly Devoted to You" (1 of probably 10 ballads she sang that night), and I had about 2 minutes with the kids when they asked me if they could sing Hannah Montana and she balked and said "No, I want my brother Steve to sing- they had their chance".... Really? REALLY???? Well, I guess they did sing Rihanna's "Please don't stop the music" with her I-Pod after the mom forced them to have a 10-yr old 'sexy dance competition' to the same song. Gross.

Let me give you the rundown on this 10 year old girl's birthday:

600 Pepto Pink Balloons (one to fill every square inch of the rented room)
A 3-tiered pink birthday cake
Full bar (for the 15-20 adults that I ended up babysitting)
Strobe light and Disco ball (she wanted the room to look like a nightclub)
A Photographer
A Doorman
Two Large Bags of Juicy Couture
A Wii (that I ended up wrapping) + some games
1 Live Bunny
A room overlooking the Statue of Liberty
And yet, somehow, it was all about the parents........

At the end of the night, when they were getting kicked out of the room, the dad whipped out WADS of $100 bills. After the horror that I endured, did he tip me? I'll give you one guess....

This is normal in NYC???

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow....

2008-05-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

For all of you lovely people who don't keep up with my Facebook/Myspace/Gmail/Why are there so many communication sites/AIM/Real Life......

Hair Today~

Gone Tomorrow~

That's a special New Yorksey magic trick from me to you.

Eggs and Grapefruit

2008-05-03T07:55:00.001-07:00

To our loyal readers (aka moms and Aunt Coll) Sorry about the delay in posts. We have a lot to write about but just no time to write!! (isn't that always the way?)

OK... So J and I decided to go on a diet thingy a couple weeks ago (just to try it, neither one of us really NEEDS to diet). If you think back to our month of being vegetarian you will find the motives behind the diet to be very similar. We love the challenge.

This diet boasts that you can lose 10 lbs in 10 days. It really does work, but the one biggest problem with this diet- it's SO BORING!!! I mean, I've never done such a boring diet and I've tried quite a few over the years (mostly with my mom). J figured out that on this diet we were averaging about 600-800 calories per day (around 6 pts for all you Weight Watchers). So we made the executive decision to stop after 8 days because it obviously worked (I had lost 10 lbs by then) and it was badly affecting our moods. I'll put it at the end of this post just in case you want to give it a try. Seriously, it works.

One definite bonus: we learned how to make a few really simple, good tasting, low-calorie meals; we found a really great kind of cottage cheese; and rediscovered our love of salads.

We also had to drink alot of water on the diet.............. These pics are from day 5 at a work party at a bar when everyone else was drinking alcohol and eating sliders and stuffed potato skins and french fries.... dear God, the french fries....

I look Saucy with my H2O......

Jenny looks completely destroyed....

Ok here it is:

Skinny Jeans Diet (Lose 10 lbs in 10 Days)
*Do not maintain this diet for more than 2 weeks at a time!!!!

Important:

Drink 6 or more glasses of water daily
Use a salt substitute
Take a multi-vitamin daily
Coffee & tea- no cream or sugar
Artificial sweetener may be used
Vegetables boiled & drained- without butter- vinegar or lemon juice may be used
Salads without dressing- vinegar, lemon juice or artificial sweetener may be added to taste
All meats and fish boiled or broiled- lean meat only (beef, veal, lamb, fowl and fish).
Eat your normal portion.
NO PORK OR SHELL FISH
When broiling meats or fish- pat dry with paper towel after broiling.
No eating between meals.
Try to eat meals at the same time each day
NO, DO NOT SKIP ANY MEAL!
ABSOLUTELY NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES OF ANY KIND... SORRY!
Where eggs are indicated: 1 egg- small framed women, 2 eggs- medium to large framed women

1st Week:

EVERY DAY BREAKFAST: 1/2 Grapefruit, 1 or 2 boiled or poached eggs, coffee or tea(ALL EGGS IN DIET EITHER BOILED OR POACHED)

MONDAY: Lunch~ Same as breakfast; Dinner~ Lean meat or fish, lettuce salad, 1 slice dry toast, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea

TUESDAY: Lunch~ Same as breakfast; Dinner~ Lean meat or fish, lettuce & tomato salad, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea

WEDNESDAY: Lunch~ 1 or 2 eggs, spinach, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea; Dinner~ Lean meat or fish, lettuce, tomato & carrot salad, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea

THURSDAY: Lunch~ 1 or 2 eggs, 1/2 cup carrots, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea; Dinner~ Lean meat or fish, lettuce salad, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea

FRIDAY: Lunch~ 1 or 2 eggs, cabbage, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea;Dinner~ Broiled fish (NO BREADING), lettuce, tomato & carrot salad, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea

SATURDAY: Lunch~ FRESH fruit salad (NOT CANNED) eat all you want!!; Dinner~ Lean meat or fish, lettuce & tomato, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea

SUNDAY: Lunch~ Diced chicken (NO SKIN) with chopped celery and green pepper, lemon juice or vinegar, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea; Dinner~ Broiled chicken (NO SKIN), lettuce salad, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee or tea

SUBSTITUTIONS: The following may be substituted for "2 eggs" anywhere in the diet

3 oz lean beef, 1/2 cup salmon (water packed)
8 oz Sardines (well drained and pat dry with paper towel)
1 small can tuna (water packed), 1/2 cup cottage cheese (Light n' Lively preferred)

2nd WEEK: REPEAT 1ST WEEK.................................................

GOOD LUCK FROM YOUR BROADWAY BLOOPERS BUDDIES!!!

We'll try to post more.... sorry!

Tax Day Fun!

2008-04-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

I know Taxes aren't necessarily the most fun things to think about, but their DONE! So let's celebrate and look at some fun stuff I found to commemorate this lovely Tax Day.

Not too far from the truth, eh?

It's kind of hard to see, but there's a 1040 in the cloud

I found this on a Mommy website! Behave ladies!

And finally, the loveable Snoopy. Don't we all wish it was this easy............

~B

Welcome to the Jungle

2008-04-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

Finally! I had a callback for a highly reputable company!

Last week I went in for a callback for the touring company of Seussical: the Musical with Theaterworks USA- a company that is known for giving non-equity actors a chance, and their card. The woman in the first audition told me to dress like one of the "plastics" in Mean Girls, but to think Middle School. No Stilettos, Light make-up... Younger. So I went to H&M and bought a few brightley colored t-shirts. I wore a jean skirt, leggings, and cute little flats. I straightened my hair and pinned it back from my face. I did everything she asked for. I looked.... ridiculous.

So I walked into the room- I was more than a little uncomfortable but, by God, I was rocking my best "confidence-face." I put my audition book on the piano and showed the man where I would like to sing, walked to the center of the room where I said "Is this mean girls enough for ya? well, I tried...." and let out an awkward laugh. Little beads of sweat start forming on my forehead. Then I proceeded to start singing during the intro. Crap! I had to start over. I apologized and began again. My palms were sweaty. The song went well. They laughed a few times, right? I looked poised (if not completely in character), right? My voice was a little shakier than normal, but they didn't notice, right? The choices I made were strong, right? There was no lipstick on my teeth, right? ....My mind was filled with these stupid thoughts. It was like a mini panic attack.

The older (and harsher) woman did not have me read the side-an excerpt from script- that I was given which basically means she was done seeing me. Upon looking at the "Special Skills" portion of my resume, she told me that she would love to see my Tarzan yell. I FREAKED OUT! I started giggling and told her "WOW! No one has ever asked me to do that before! You are my FAVORITE!" (you are my favorite?? Really, Briann?) I acted like I was 13 again. As a true sign of confidence I said, "I'm ready. Are you ready? Cause I'm ready." and I let her rip.

*side note: I hadn't done the Tarzan yell since high school when our choir did a version of "George of the Jungle" and I became annoyed with the wimpy cries the boys were letting out because they were afraid of looking stupid. We sang that song at least once every year after Froshman year and guess who was elbowed and encouraged until she yelled..... Another great choice B. Very cool.

Needless to say, a little time has passed since High School and I was nervous. The yell was not as strong as I remember. In fact. It sucked.

After some quick "thank you"s I speed walked out of the room searching for a place to sit down and breathe for a minute and I was confronted by about 5 shocked and slightly horrified faces in the hallway. They all seemed to read "what the eff was that?!" My stomach had that weird bubbly feeling and I walked very quickly and awkwardly past all the faces to the women's dressing room where I put my normal work clothes back on, brushed my hair out, took a couple deep breaths, and thanked the lord that it was over.

So, the J/B household has a new audition to re-inact. I think the modern dance infused "Candle on the Water" and the infamous "schmoo" can take a rest for a while.

Welcome to the Jungle, baby. "AH-AH-AH-AH-AAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

~B

Taking the Good with the Bad

2008-04-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

I was getting off the subway today, rushing to get to my new temp job, the million and one things I need to do swimming about in this useless top masquerading as my brain when I was stopped dead in my tracks by one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. A blind man with a seeing eye dog was getting off a bus and just as he hit the street another dog rushed the two of them.
Now, at first I stopped because I thought the man might need help navigating away from this other dog, however, I soon realized that there was a woman holding his short leash and that the dogs weren't fighting, they had been looking for each other. The owners embraced and kissed in the middle of a busy New York sidewalk in the morning rush. ...and I couldn't stop watching.
I was struck by the abandon with which they were living. They didn't care that it was 9:02, and that every person swarming around them was late because they made the now regrettable decision to stop for coffee. They didn't care that people would be staring at them. They didn't care that the dog leashes were tangling beneath their feet. They were living and taking in that moment. Those dogs had rushed for each other, so excited to have found their counterpart just as their owners did seconds later.
There I was walking down the street, Ipod on to shut the world out, worrying myself to an ulcer about my two minute tardiness, trying to think about the many insignificant, superficial things I MUST get done today - and life smacked me in the face.
I have working eyes, ears, and limbs, the ability to speak and read, a college degree and all of the other accoutrement's of the young and privileged.
Maybe it's time to take a step back and start living a full life instead of a life that is filled with to-do's.

- J

When do people outgrow preteen crushes??

2008-03-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

I live in New York. I'm an actress in New York. I live with other actors and actresses in New York. I have seen big names in the subway, local bars, and passed them in crosswalks. I do NOT get "star-struck." They are just people. Very successful and talented people. But still, just people.

Today Jenny and I met up by Grand Central Station and decided to walk above ground back to the Port Authority Bus Station to get home. So there I am loudly recounting an audition I had in the afternoon when suddenly she leans towards me and says "you are going to shit your pants, but Ryan Gosling is standing to your left." Now... I have had a celebrity crush on Mr. Gosling ever since he played the goofball on the short lived TV Series Breaker High. I have been highly impressed with his recent work- especially Lars and the Real Girl. And I'm sure if we had access to the Disney Channel growing up (thanks mom....) my crush would have started with his role as a Mousekateer. This person that I have adored from afar since Jr. High was standing right next to me at a cross walk having a serious conversation with a man who had beautiful silver gray hair. This is the time to be cool......

Did I walk coyly up to the corner where he was standing and 'accidently' bump him? Turn to apologize and make full eye contact? Introduce myself and tell him I think he's handsome and talented? Walk away calmly? Did I pull out any friendly, nonchalant technique that I have used to communicate with attractive guys in the past?

.............

NO! NO I DID NOT! They crossed the street and I grabbed Jenny's jacket and dragged her across the street in their direction. We walked quickly past them talking animatedly with our hands, giggling like schoolgirls, sneaking quick glances back to see if we could make eye contact. When we finally lost them, Jenny and I got on our classy bus (the kind with duct-taped seats) and chatted all the way home about how, if he knew us, he would fall in love. And how, when we make a movie with him we're going to talk to him as equals. But mostly we chatted about how crazy we had acted and how often he must get that kind of response from 20-something year old women.

We tried to be cool and failed 100%. I think I'm ready to watch the Notebook and bawl my eyes out.

~B

Here a visit, there a visit.

2008-03-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when someone comes into town, your town, the town you feel pumped and ready to show off in it's glistening wonder, that something MUST go wrong. My Denver Parents (I have two complete sets of parents for those who don't know) came for a visit this past weekend. As Briann and I have suddenly dropped into the poverty category, we have really been looking forward to this trip. We would have verbal day dreams of the food, entertainment, and general good times to be had by all.

And then it happened.

The weekend my parents were in town, the good Lord decided to dump about half of the worlds fresh water supply on our fair city of New Yorksey. The rain was torrential, and there went our dreams. A quaint walk through Soho where we happen upon an adorable cafe serving the most delicious cream filled pastries? NO! A jaunt through Little Italy, the wind in our hair ready to seek out the best sausage sauce we could find? NO. NO, NO, NO! Instead we were rushing from subway stations to cabs, trying to keep our $3.50 umbrellas intact...well, they were. My umbrella went missing - as if it couldn't get any better.

Even while darting around the tidal waves that I guess could be called "puddles," at least there was still food. And my oh my was it delicious. We spent the first night eating in Little Italy. In order to find the best restaurant in the area, my Dad took an approach that almost none would dare. He decided that the best person to ask would be a Maitre' D in the area. He says to the man, "So what is really the best restaurant in the area?" doing that lean in, squinty eyed thing that the men do in mobster movies. The man answers that his restaurant is quite good to which my Dad responds, "No, no - I'm sure yours is great, but what's really the best? Were looking for something authentic..." Uh, am I missing something here? Isn't it that man's job to sell us on his restaurant? And when did I jump into an episode of the Sopranos?

Well, turns out Dad knows what he's doing and we are referred to Angelo's where we proceeded to eat through their stock of bread for the evening and when we ask what the best deserts are, the waiter scoops up our menus and through his thick accent tells us, "Da Berry Tart-ah, and da lemon tart-ah" giving us a swift karate chop hand motion as if to say, "No more questions or you'll get whacked."

I love Little Italy (smile...shudder).

The next night we are theatre patrons extraordinaire! We made our dinner reservations at celebrity chef Bobby Flay's restaurant Mesa Grill. All I can say is de-li-cious. Delicious and thank god we aren't vegetarian anymore, ha! After eating some perfect animal carcasses and the best potatoes I've ever met we were off to see "Young Frankenstein: The Musical."

I have not yet mentioned that my Dad and I love Mel Brooks and really love "Young Frankenstein" the movie. If you haven't seen it, stop reading right this second and go purchase both "Young Frankenstein" and "Blazing Saddles." You can thank me later.

Especially for fans the show was hilarious. When they started to do "Puttin' On the Ritz" I literally thought my Dad might have a heart attack. They had to hold for applause for nearly two full minutes after the number started.

Then we went out for dessert...again. I wont lie to you, Briann and I may have gained about 5 pounds each while the parents were here. I guess the double dessert was a little indulgent, but just a little.

The next day we decided to drive into the city and by we I mean ME. I was the only one doing the driving and I didn't even hyperventilate. I did, however, almost cost us our lives about 13 times. I will never understand why cab drivers don't follow any rules of the road. Even a simple turn signal would help. We were in search of the Pickle Guys. You see, my father has an unnatural love of all things pickle. I have seen the man drink glasses of pickle juice like they were water and eat upwards of seven pickles in one sitting. Well, we have found the pickle mecca in the Pickle Guys. You walk in to find about 25 barrels of different kinds of pickles, olives, and veggies. The men are yelling like you're in a fish market and asking you to make decisions about what you want when you have no idea exactly what they have. We definitely walked out of there with some pickles, just don't ask me what kind they were.

Rain, weight gain, road rage, and Broadway. All things considered, I'd say this was a great trip and one that Briann and I probably needed more than they did.

I'll leave you with the best line of the trip:

As we were eating at Angelo's everyone was sharing bits of their food so that we could try everything. About 10 minutes into the main course(and that's being generous), as most of us are just starting to make a dent in our plates, Briann looks up and says,

"I'm embarrassed to say this but...last call on the manicotti."

-J

Sometimes you can't say "I meant to do that"

2008-03-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

Last night Jenny wasn't feeling well and I was home late so we both decided we wanted pasta- an "easy" dish.... riiiiiiight.

I make the pasta and defrost the meat (for bolognese sauce) and I season and brown the meat and throw in some mushrooms just for kicks. Now I'm ready for the red sauce. Take the jar out of the refrigerater and can't open it.... I call in the reinforcements. Jenny can't open it either. So she decides we need to put it in the microwave for about 20 sec. Then we try again. Still no dice. The meat is cooling on the stove, the pasta is sitting in the strainer. The pressure is on.
WE NEED TO OPEN THIS JAR!

I learned a trick from all those years living with my parents who (let's face it) never made anything from scratch. I take a knife and start rapping it against the edge of the cap while holding it upside down. It always worked back at home.

What was it we learned in 5th grade science class about glass and hot and cold?? Contraction/Expansion? I forget.....

EXHIBIT A: The Jar
EXHIBIT B: My Pants & Shoes

EXHIBIT C: ............There are no words.................

And so, your honor, we ended up with a cream sauce that was delicious, but decidedly un-red...

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho....

2008-03-03T18:23:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to me! I am now officially employed in New York City as a PT Office Assistant and also as a Caterer!

Today I finished my first day (well, half day) of work for an awesome IT consulting company in midtown Manhattan. Let me sum up my hard days work:

Morning- Meet everyone who is in the office today, take a tour of our floor with my office "buddy" Peter who shows me the new Wii, the kitchen area, and the ongoing nerf dart game. My boss comes up to bring me the "welcome wagon"- a bright little 'Radio Flyer' type wagon loaded up with random things from around the office; 409, Paperclips, Pencils, an extension chord, and little business man action figures. He proceeds to pick up a little plastic gun, load it with one of the figures, and say "when you're really pissed at your boss, just load the gun and pull this trigger," so of course I did and the little man went flying across the room! I look at him in a little state of shock and say "well why don't I just throw you?? Why harm the innocent little men?"

Lunch- The office takes me out to an all you can eat sushi restaurant where I proceed to embarrass myself by going for 2 full plates of food and finishing the ENTIRE thing.

Afternoon- I place a Staples supply order and fight with my archaic phone for a while. Then I joke with my boss and the HR woman who hired me for a jaunt and head home at the ripe old time of 2:30.

This is a tough life....

~B

Good vs. Evil

2008-02-29T20:39:00.000-08:00

Between the two of us, Jenny and I have seen a lot of crazy things in this city we call "the Big Apple" (sidenote: I always thought that nickname was pretty weird....). Not very many things can compare to the absurdity that we encountered last night.

Let me backtrack:
Because J and I have both been blessed with the ability to make friends easily we tend to meet a few new people every audition to add to our social circle. So, J made plans for us to meet up with her friend K who she met at the Hairspray call about a month ago and K's friend. We let the other ladies choose the dinner location since we don't know any restaurants yet and they have been living here a while longer. K suggests a place called Jekyll and Hyde Restaurant in the theater district. Now, J and I share the distaste of cheesy "theatrical" amusement shows and low brow dinner entertainment so we heartily discouraged the decision to go to this restaurant. We threw out several different options for good (and inexpensive) places for dinner. K insisted that we go to Jekyll and Hyde. Alright then....

We step through a pair of doors guarded by a few scarecrows and a security guard dressed to fit the general decor of the door. He "allows" us to pass and we meet a friendly man with a feather duster haphazardly placed in the collar of his suit, sticking out and looking a bit like an exploding neck goiter. We wait in a little entryway that looks a bit like the elevator in the Disneyland Haunted Mansion, only smaller, where J proceeds to distinctively outfunny the man who recieved his equity card for working in the restaurant. *This enforces the fact that having your equity card does not necessarily mean you are good- wait for more examples.

We finally "earn the right to pass" when J tells *feather-duster-goiter-man that she will have to pee on his lovely shoes if he does not let us in. So we step into a magical restaurant that looks about 3 notches above a Chucky Cheese restaurant. There are children in almost every booth except ours (and we all know how much J loves the kiddies!) and the fixtures on the wall talk to the people eating. The coolest (and sometimes worst) thing about this restaurant is that the actors who work there control the voices of the various moving statues and wall decorations and they improv lines constantly throughout the night.

The food was very good (and ended up being very expensive). Our waitress was cheerful and fun-- not an actress, surprisingly. And during the course of the night we heard a *gargoil make jokes about the Wii and ridicule some 10 year old boys and sing Kumbaya (that was hilarious actually), spoke with a wandering *gypsy who jingled when she walked, were publicly hit on by *feather-duster-goiter-man, endured an *evil scientist's boogy oogie dance, and finally, a *waiter started dancing/humping J's and K friend's chairs. ooo....... Evil.

Then we went to Starbucks and bought a cookie. mmmm...... Good.

~B

Ohio, Denver, and all that lies in between...so, like, Missouri?

2008-02-20T20:07:00.000-08:00

I'm not dead! The children did not, in fact, kill me and I can officially say that I have survived my first "tour." There is much to tell you, so I'll break it down by giving you lists of things I learned.

Ohio and the Tour

1. I love living out of a suitcase.

2. Children's tours = a group of 20 somethings set free with daily money and nothing to do.

3. Pregnant men live in the Wal-Mart in Ohio.

4. I hate the Wal-Mart in Ohio.

5. 23 years of watching my Mom (the greatest teacher in the known world) do her thing was not lost on me. I can quiet a group of 40 students in seconds-yay!

6. Zip-Zap-Zop is not a good game for 40 students - yikes.

7. Beer Pong is a funny game. To think I got through 4 years at CU ( at that time America's #1 party school) to play it my first time in the Hampton Inn in Newark, OH is...hilarious...and embarassing...and hilarious.

8. You Tube is the greatest. Sit down with a group of friends and let everyone show their favorite video. This was what we did every night and it was wonderful. Highlights: Muffins and a video called the "Puppet Master" in which Elijah Wood teaches children to do his favorite dance...stick with it, it grows on you.

Denver and the Wedding

1. I am officially old. Someone I met in the dorms is now married.

2. Coloradans walk slow. I found myself shouting, "Walk left, stand right" on those moving walkways at the airport.

3. Indoor Skydiving is hilarious. They make you float and spin around in the air while wearing a pretty pink outfit.

4. Sitting in a different room than the bride and groom at the reception is weird, especially when they are pretty much the only people you know.

5. I love Denver, but I don't actually miss it, just the people there.

6. The fact that my parents are moving to Hawaii does not make me sad. It was really, REALLY cold in Denver
it really, REALLY cold in NY...a girl's got to catch a break somewhere!

I'm the one on the far right...in the pink.

Airports in General

1. Walk left, stand right. Seriously.

2. Nobody cares about how awesome the black diamond skiing was at 12:55 am...we just want to get on the damn plane so stop trying to talk to us.

3. Never, ever, ever wear a pink jacket with mismatched pink socks and shoes while talking on your pink cell phone...everyone will hate you.

4. Never, ever, ever wear one of those crunchy synthetic jackets on the plane that makes all that noise every time you move...I will hate you.

5. Delay's suck.

6. Getting bumped up to first class due to your delay is awesome.

7. There is absolutely no way to be comfortable in an airplane seat, first class or not.

8. My life is awesome. After hearing the woman on the pink phone (you remember her from above) talk (with her one tooth) about familial conspiracies to kill her, I thought, "My life does not suck. Not even one bit. Even when it sucks, it's not that bad."

Unfortunately folks, I have to end this one on a bit of a sad note, but one we've all had to deal with.

I just want to take a moment to say goodbye to a little dude who was my best friend for nearly 20 years. Thanks for everything, buddy. After years of barbies, getting dressed up in baby clothes, hundreds of songs sung to you whether you wanted them or not, thousands of tears, millions of laughs, and a lifetime lived together, it's time to say goodbye. I love you and I'll miss you. Bye-bye, Mr. Norman.

-J

Who needs knees??

2008-02-15T13:04:00.000-08:00

I went to my first official dance call for the Hairspray Nat'l Tour this week and felt like the only one who did not already know the entire combination. Apparently, they re-use the same dance combo (as seen in the Broadway production) every audition, so they don't see the need to actually "teach" the combination.... So I didn't get a callback, but I will be the expert next time around.

Then a couple days ago I went to a dance call for The Producers. Do not continue reading if you have a weak stomach or a low threshold for pain...

Still sore from a leaps and turns class I took the previous day (in a class of 4 people guess who was standing right next to me..... S!! You can guess how awesome the rest of the class was for me), my flexibility was not at all what it should have been and these girls have clearly been dancing since they were able to walk. The choreographer flashed through the dance combo because she wanted to see if we could pick it up quickly. It was all good until they split us up into our small groups and covered the mirror.

It seemed like the combination immediately escaped from my head. I kicked when I should have turned. I shuffled when I should have kicked. I was a mess, and all I could do was paste a big huge smile on my face and show them what a trooper I am! We were near the end of the combination and went down into the splits... not ordinarily a problem for me on my right side. About half-way down I hear a huge crack-pop sound and feel a very sharp sensation in my left knee. Needless to say I sat out the rest of the dance call and did not get a callback. I've missed about 7 auditions in the past 2 days because of my sad bum knee- mostly because I don't really want to hobble around New York City alone.

Lesson Learned: Avoid dance calls. I am now officially catagorized as an actor, singer, dancer. C’est la vie!!

~B

Step, Kick, Kick, Leap, Kick, Touch, Again....

2008-02-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

It has been three weeks since the move out here to New Yorksey. Three weeks with no gym membership. Three weeks with no dance classes. I have been going crazy.

So yesterday I was in the city by this dance studio I have been wanting to try out for a while. I brought my jazz shoes to an audition (just in case) and thought "what the hell" so I went into the studio ready for a workout.

I went up to the counter to register for this intermediate jazz class. The people behind the desk tell me "there are 2 classes at the same time tonight. Tell me about yourself and I'll tell you which one you should take." Okay, great. I tell them my experience and they tell me I will definitely want to take S's dance class (which I did not realize at the time, was 2 hours long).

So I walk in to S's class where they are already warming up. I kind of get the feeling I'm a little out of place during the warm-ups but I think it's because I'm new to this class and I'm not familiar with their routine. We get to across the floors where he's having us do arabesque, pique turn, reverse step, step, prepare, triple pirouette. Again, arabesque, pique turn, reverse step, step, prepare, triple pirouette. Oh. My. God. THEY ARE PROFESSIONAL DANCERS! I'm feeling completely unprepared (and as an added bonus, of course, I decided to wear my glasses today...) But I stick with it and flop and fall all the way through the across the floor excercises. Phew... water break.

I go up to the teacher to introduce myself and say, "Hi S. I'm sorry, but this doesn't seem like an Intermediate level dance course." His response is "It shouldn't, it's advanced. And I also have an advanced beginner course after this one that can be quite challenging for some" HA! Ouch. I say "well, you are amazing" and walk away to go sit in a corner and cry.

Class is back. Only one hour left in this hell hole of insecurity. We start learning the combination. I'm actually doing a pretty good job of keeping up, even if I am incredibly out of my league.
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Most of the combination stayed in my head and body- which is good.
Everytime I did a turn I was afraid my glasses were going to fly off and smack someone in the face- which is not good.

Although I think S was impressed that I stuck it out and gave it my all, I don't think he was very impressed when I walked up to him after class and said "Thank you so much. I'll definitely be back in a year or so when I'm ready for this." Whoops.

Well anyway, I got my workout... Everyone needs to be humbled every now and then, right??

~B

Wait for it...

2008-02-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

Everyone hold your breath...

I Finally...

finally...

GOT A JOB!

After months of performing at a level of crappiness that I didn't even know was possible, someone saw through the awful and decided to offer me a job - - - YES!

Briann and I like to say that I've booked my first national tour. This is true if you believe that national only means Ohio, and if by tour you mean we perform for four days at one venue.

Well, the company calls it a tour anyway.

The other news about the "tour" is that it is for children...children's theatre. Now, those of you that know me well are already laughing at the awkwardness that my life is about to be engulfed in. You see, I don't exactly love kids. Let's get real, I don't even really like kids and now I'm working for a company that builds in time for the kids to touch me and transmit their germs to me by way of the thinly veiled "autograph singing sessions."

I thought to myself, "I can do this. It's just 10 minutes after the show, and only the creepy kids will like me since I'm playing the Wicked Stepmother in Cinderella. Okay!" Then I show up for the first day of rehearsal when they drop the bomb. Each cast member will be required to host an hour long teaching session with a group of 40 kids.

Cold sweat beads start to form on my forehead.

My hands get clammy and numb.

I start to shake and am unable to stop of my own accord.

40 KIDS, BY MYSELF??? I may not have mentioned that I also have a fear of public speaking. You're probably thinking to yourself, "She's an actress - how can she be afraid to speak in front of others?" Well, let's keep in mind that while onstage I am playing a role - almost never myself. I was the kid in class who gave the painful science class presentations with the paper nearly shaking itself out of my hand while I stared at it wondering if it could magically transform me into Oprah because, well, Oprah's awesome and she could definitely give this presentation without feeling like she was going to pee her pants and wanting to die. Please God...Please let me be Oprah for just these 10 minutes of my life, or at least teleport me to Sweden or something.

I leave for Ohio on Tuesday and I'll be packing light.

One pair of jeans.

Two shirts.

Three bottles of wine.

Dear Lord - wish me luck!

- J

Todesterday

2008-01-26T10:40:00.000-08:00

In just a few short Weehawken weeks, Jenny and I have discovered the modern day phenomenon of todesterday- the awkward time of day between today and yesterday when you don't really know when to say "yesterday," "today," or "tomorrow."

For the extremely intelligent and lovable roommates, unfortunately, todesterday is usually an accidental occurrence. Like yester- I mean today for instance when we went to meet up with friends at 5pm in the city and accidentally stayed out until 7am. WHOOPS!

Of course, it couldn't just be as easy as that. We were actually in the bus ready to come home around 5:15 after hitting up about 5 bars/clubs and one 24 hour diner with our new Staten Island buddies. Then we waited. and waited. and waited at Port Authority for the bus driver to leave. It was approximately 45 min before one guy on the bus went up to the driver and said "if I give you a $20 will you go??" and the driver gave in. Thank God.

So we're on the way home and we tell the driver to drop us off at our street. We were the last people on the bus and the driver offered "door to door service for a few extra dollars" and the ever-charming "I'll mix you a drink and tuck you in for $5." Nothing but class for us friends, nothing but class. And then he drops us off at a street that looks nothing like our area. We get back on and tell him the street and cross-street one more time and he says "Oh no! You took the wrong bus!" which is exactly what you want to hear at 6:15am right? Like a madman he crosses into a lane of oncoming traffic next to a different bus and tells him where we need to go. We get out in the middle of the street and get into the other bus where we have to ride about 45 blocks with people heading to work to get even close to our area and then walk another 7 blocks to our front door. The supreme walk of shame. Don't worry, we dig it.

Apparently todesterday is a common occurrence here in New Yorksey. Do you think that everybody's todesterdays are as awesome as ours? I think not.

~B

No Hands Jenny

2008-01-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

It is freakin' cold out here in New Yorksey today. So cold, in fact, that I thought my hands might fall off turning me into an actress affectionately known as, "No Hands Jenny." It doesn't help that I apparently think that I can wear whatever I want as long as I wear it with tights. Today my ingenious choice was a dress built for summer wear with bright purple tights - did I mention it was FREEZING outside? Oh, did I also mention that I forgot to bring a hat and gloves? Did I also mention that I am an idiot? Good, I'm glad we've cleared that up. Lesson learned: I don't carry around the biggest shoulder bag that New York has ever seen to be unprepared - tomorrow I'll be stuffing extra everything in there.

Briann and I auditioned for the Amish today. I wish I was kidding, but the theatre really is called Amish Acres. I suppose it would have been good to know that before I decided to sing a cute song about infidelity...you know how hilarious the Amish think infidelity is.

In other news, our Landlord, Rob, came over today to give us a lightbulb and collect our lease. I realized when Rob came in and started looking around that at that particular moment, our laptops were sitting on my bed looking very "His and Hers" and that the picture of us hugging on the fridge, our cute table for two, Briann's unfinished room, and our talk of inviting some "Girlfriends" over for dinner were all coming together to make us look like a lovely couple to our Jersey Boy landlord. As he started to look around suspiciously I realized that there is no way to tell your landlord that you aren't a Lesbian couple without it getting really awkward.

Well, here's to being no handed vegetarian Lesbian's in the city, singing for the Amish, and changing our own lightbulbs - which is really hard to do without hands!

- J

*No harm meant to Lesbians, Amish, or no handed people.

That would look SO good if I wasn't Vegetarian....

2008-01-20T08:50:00.000-08:00

J and I decided to become vegetarians for a month for reasons having to do with animal cruelty, bodily health, and the ridiculously high price requested for rotting carcass at the store. I also just finished the modern day classic "Skinny Bitch" which is vehemently vegan. I would love to go crazy with the veganism, but it may be a little too intense for now... to explain let's look at our first "vegetarian" week in review.

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Mon: We go to the store to pick up food (all vegetarian) then make a trip to Ikea where we proceed to scarf down Swedish Meatballs, of course

Tues: J starts drooling over the picture of a personal pepperoni pizza at Dunken Doughnuts.... yes, I said Dunken. Doughnuts. Then we proceed to get lost on our way home from shopping and we're both starving. Naturally we stop at a random pizza place run by really nice Indian folks and order one pepperoni, one sausage and mushroom pizza, and they thew in an extra cheese pizza for free (because apparently we look like the fat cows that we are inside... whatever, free food)

Wed: Our cookbooks are given a rundown so we could figure out what to make a friend when she comes over for dinner and I made the phrase "That would look SO good if I wasn't Vegetarian" a regular addition to conversation

Thurs: COMPLETELY VEGETARIAN!! Maybe we were super motivated... or maybe we didn't get our lazy asses out of our pajamas all freakin' day.

Fri: Walk down to the corner to get some pizza; I did a good job with the white pizza that would have been great with sausage. J decided to go original with a Pepperoni pizza covered in extra scalding hot oil. Well done, J.

Sat: Meet up with some friends in the city (B has been going on 3 days successfully Vegetarian) hang out until 4ish when J decides that we need french fries. Now. So we make our way to a really classy diner (that didn't have any ranch dressing... say what?!) and J and I end up stuffing our faces with buffalo chicken. Bravo ladies, bravo.
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What is the moral of this story?

In order for meat eaters to become vegetarian, they need to be locked in their apartment for extended periods of time.

We will not give up this quest! We may not be very consistent, but we are making progress towards the "Skinny Bitch" lifestyle. Now if you'll excuse me, that chorizo breakfast burrito is totally calling my name.

~B

Adventures in Auditioning

2008-01-17T15:38:00.000-08:00

The New York audition is a rare species that can bring even the best to their knees. Taking into account that I wasn't a great auditioner to begin with, you can imagine that I have made some less than stellar first impressions.

Audition 1: The role is a legit soprano - I decide to sing a saucy jazz song. Really good call, Jenny, really good.

Audition 2: I finish singing and they tell me I should come back for Hairspray.

Audition 3: Am typed out for Hairspray.

Audition 4: I have an out of body experience. I can see this red haired girl doing a modern interpretive dance while singing a Disney song. This cannot possibly be me, serious dramatic actress Jennifer Dunne. What a freak, that girl sucks.

Audition 5: I forget the words to my song and actually sing the word "SCHMOOOO" where a lyric should be.

Auditions 6 - 10: Much of the same, add a little bad dancing, some unfortunate attire, and some really bad song choices.

Audition 11: It's a miracle. I do not mess up the words to my song. I do not make my song into a sad imitation of a street performance piece. I do not try to sing exactly like the girl who just sang before me who sounds like Chenoweth on 'roids. I have a good audition. Finally.

Let's just pray that no one remembers that weirdo who decided it would be a really good idea to make, "Candle on the Water" into an audition song.

- J

New York, New Jersey, New Appliances

2008-01-17T13:03:00.001-08:00

Snooze facts that everyone keeps asking about:
We are concluding our first week in our new apartment in New York (I mean, New Jersey). We are only a 10 minute busride from Port Authority/Times Square and have a GORGEOUS view of the city skyline just a couple miles away. Our place is small, which thankfully means we don't need to invest in as much furniture. And we have a gym, deli, dry cleaners, laundramat, pizza place, chinese restaurant, and liquor store right down the street. It's a very safe Italian neighborhood and we are very happy here so far. We live in Weehawken (it's even spelled like Jersey speak) which is right above Hoboken (again with the Jersey tawk). Our landlord will be living with his family on the first floor and the middle floor tenants haven't been selected yet. So for now, we are all alone on the 3rd floor of a brand new walk-up apartment dealing with our heat issues and brand new appliances all alone.

That's enough basic logistics. Let's get to the fun stuff:
My first night in town J and I went to a salsa club for a friends birthday party. It was a really fun place with a live band, sweet margheritas, and great dancers crowding the dance floors and the isles. It was amazing to be around men who weren't too stuck up or afraid to ask a lady to dance! Of course, I was dancing on beats 1 and 3 like a good little white girl. J, however, had a real knack for salsa, attracting salsa teachers and old latin men alike. It was a great night. We left to go home around 4 am and got on the PATH train where the birthday girl (also living in Jersey) was obsessed with singing songs from the musical Company aloud, J was given the number of a random homeless man, "Tom," who told her she was his dreamgirl, and we ended up sharing a cab with a couple drunken dudes from Hoboken. Perfect first night.

Cut to: Tuesday Night
Wok night. J made amazing stir fry and then turned the oven on to make some cookies. About 5 minutes in our fire alarm started going crazy. After lots of towel waving and confusion we opened the oven (for the 3rd time) and, low and behold, burnt plastic and charred paper on the top shelf. It was the instruction manual!! Okay, we knew the appliances were new but COME ON! Thank God the landlord hasn't moved in yet and that the oven is self cleaning...

We are very new at this story telling and blog thing, so hopefully this is a fun (and interesting) way to catch up with everyone's favorite "Diesel" and "GB". Tawk to ya layta!

*written by B